Today, my house community once again decided that embarrassing a group of sixth form guys would be the perfect way to raise money for our house charity. It has somehow become a regular thing for my house (or learning community as it’s officially called but you’d have no idea what I meant if I said that) to get six or so guys to stand up in front of a hall full of girls cheering them on to be the most ‘manly’. Obviously, with my school being all girls in years 7 to 11, this event is always a great hit and raises loads of money.
Today during lunch time, six guys battled it out in a number of different rounds to find out who was the manliest (supposedly). I’m not quite sure if it worked (no offence to the winner) but some of the rounds just didn’t seem to test manliness, however funny they were to watch! So, after increasingly terrible introductions, the battle began...
Round one was a catwalk which involved the guys jumping off the stage and walking along the aisle between the chairs and back again in varying odd ways. Some took this more seriously than others and the cheering for the worst started off a little unenthusiastic however a loser was eventually voted off. The losing guy got attacked by silly string and eventually had to traverse the ‘walk of shame’.
The next round was chat up lines. These varied from the sweet to the cheesy to the just plain weird! They included “Do you have a plaster? (“No, why?”) Because I hurt my knee when I fell for you” and “Are you a parking ticket because you’ve got fine written all over you!” Yeah, varying degrees of quality there! Once again, someone was voted out (although this time by a young member of staff who the lines were directed to) and the battle continued.
This round was actually disgusting. They were each required to fit as many marshmallows in their mouth as possible in thirty seconds. Now, I’m all up for a game of chubby bunnies but having to spit them out to count the number isn’t my idea of fun! Nevertheless, one more guy was eliminated and the hilarity went on.
Now, the three eliminated guys were required to return for this round. After they were sat down on chairs, the remaining guys were given make up with which to ‘decorate’ them. In pairs they attacked them. After the vote for the worst makeup, it was then a battle of favouritism between the two guys involved. Once again we lost a guy and the next round began.
The aim of this round was to dance. Each boy selected a ‘partner’ from the audience and commenced dancing in a fashion that could have blended in rather well with any group of dads. Unfortunately, (in my opinion,) the guy who got the most into the whole dancing thing actually got voted out. It’s a shame really; ironically he was going to do the Napoleon Dynamite dance for the next round... talents.
The talent round is the one that is never usually taken seriously at all. For half of the four remaining boys, this stayed the same, but the other two took it really seriously. I’m going to leave the first until last as that was ultimately the best. One of the guys attempted to rap a parody of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Unfortunately, this didn’t go so well but I heard that this was really well thought out and would have been brilliant. Maybe if he hadn’t forgotten the words he would have stayed in. The other less serious ‘talent’ involved throwing a ball in some way. It was quite possibly only the utter confusion over what he was doing that kept him in until the next round. Both the serious talents were singing. One sang ‘Cry me a River’ while the other (the only year twelve in the whole thing) totally won in my opinion just for doing a ukulele cover of ‘Same Jeans’. I had that song stuck in my head for ages until maths corrupted it with modulus functions and silly graphs.
The penultimate round was press-ups. I’m not sure how legitimate most of the press-ups were, but the idea was that the one who did the fewest press-ups would go out. It was at this point brawn beat brains and the skinniest of the three remaining got knocked out of this round leaving the two final contenders...
The final was the classic arm wrestle. I think one of the guys was left-handed causing the epic fail of a first round however his ukulele playing obviously didn’t assist him here as, regardless of the arm switch, the poor, left-handed, ukulele playing year twelve only scraped second place. The winner received a thong (you know, as the perfect way to express his manliness) and proceeded to make a short speech to thank his mum amongst others. The whole school then sang him ‘Happy Birthday’ (because it was his birthday, not just because we felt like it) and then filed back out of the hall ready for lessons. Rather an exciting lunchtime all in all!
This has started to become quite a tradition at my school and I think the male teachers are pretty pleased that it fills the entertainment gap in which previously they would have been getting their legs waxed! Now, off to bed to see what tomorrow brings...
“So long, and thanks for all the fish.”
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