Me and my heart we have issues.

My recent blogs all seem to be really serious at the moment. Telling the problems I’m too afraid to share directly with my friends to the internet; because it seems that it somehow makes things easier to say.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about decisions I’ve made in the past, decisions that I’ll be making in the future, and the decisions that I’m making right now. Thinking about the past decisions I’ve made makes me worry about the future ones (despite Jesus’ words: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”) Because I can see how I listened to my heart when my head was telling me the opposite is a much better choice.

Getting the balance between head and heart isn’t easy and trial and error is a method that, in this situation, can hurt a lot. I once read somewhere that people find it harder to get over missed opportunities than times when saying yes has hurt them. I guess that’s true in some cases but I think it’s more complicated than that. Are you saying yes to your heart or your head? Or rejecting an opportunity from your heart or your head?

Your head, your voice of reason, should really be listened to more. At least, I should listen to mine more. Sure, what my heart suggests may seem good, it may look like it’s going to make me happy but am I following my heart for the right reasons?

I feel like I’ve let myself say yes to my heart before I’ve properly consulted my head too many times. I’m still struggling with that battle and my inability to share doesn’t help. Maybe putting things on my blog helps me find the ones who care, or maybe it’s sharing that helps, even if this is mainly one way. I guess one way is the way of sharing without the hurt. Or maybe it’s just the first step in standing above the pain and being prepared to take the hits that occasionally come in amongst the supportive feedback of sharing.