Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.

On Monday, I returned from nine days camping at Roothill; A Christian camp run by Grace Baptist Ministries. Usually when I come back from Christian camps, I spend most of my time raving about the activities and spend hardly any time talking about why I really went: The Christian friendship and teaching.
As much fun as I had going for walks, failing at snooker and crazy golf, ranking sixth in a game of laser quest, being in the best lane at bowling, staying up all night just talking, constantly losing The Game and playing ridiculous game with glow sticks, that is not why I went. No, the best thing about these types of camps is that I get to meet so many Christians my age and learn so much about God. I rarely talk about this side of my life because it feels like I’m exposing myself. Think about the thing you care about and love the most, double, maybe even triple that feeling and that’s how important my faith is to me. Mocking my Christianity isn’t just mocking a fad or phase but my family and what makes me, me. However, the last week or so has reminded me that I shouldn’t care about that. Not sharing what means the most to me is just stupid so if you don’t like it, I pray that you’ll continue reading regardless because this is the most fully me. I can handle a week away from Nerdfighteria, Twitter, MSN, a proper bed, YouTube, if it means I can spend that time learning about the God who sent his son to take away my sin.

I haven’t had the best past six months. I won’t share it on here in detail but everything seemed to be going wrong and, although I put on a brave face, I told hardly anyone and was looking for comfort in the wrong place. Sure, there’s nothing inherently wrong with Nerdfighteria, but not when you choose the internet over what truly matters.

At the beginning of Roothill, I thought I was going to hate it. It felt like the first day of secondary school once again where I knew hardly anyone and everyone was older than me. However, once I got over the shyness which I still can’t totally get rid of, I remembered why Christian Camps are so awesome. I met so many Christians my age and was able to share with them in a way that I find hard to do so with my parents and my non-Christian friends. I especially thank Enoch for praying with me when I really needed it because, although you can talk things through for ages, nothing can beat taking your problems to the all-knowing, all-powerful God in prayer.

I know non-Christian readers may be finding it uncomfortable to read this but the truth is, Roothill reminded me of the unbelievable awesomeness of God. Without being disrespectful, God truly never FTBA and whether you believe he’s there or not, he’s in complete control.

One of the most common questions is “why does God allow suffering?” now, I can’t answer that specifically but over the past week, I have been reminded of this: everything is in God’s hands and, although everything may seem disastrous, trust God. He knows why we’re suffering and we need to look at the bigger picture. In 1 Peter, we’re told that all suffering is ultimately for our good and to glorify god. And if that isn’t enough, we were taken through the story of Esther. She seemed to lose everything; she lost her family, and became the wife of an unpredictable and violent king. It then got worse with the life of her uncle and her people (the Jews) being threatened. At the time, it must have seemed hopeless. It must have made no sense and yet, god let Esther go through this so that ultimately the Jews may be saved and that God’s people would not die out.

I know this is nothing like the majority of my blogs, but when this is what means the most to me, I can’t help but share it. It would be great if everyone was able to understand this, but that is not in my hands. If I could sum up what I learnt at Roothill in one sentence, it would be this:

“Trust God, you idiot”