Trockette! Yes!

There is this genre, they call it Trock.

To such songs I listen a lot.

In my room it is played loud,

Fluffy like a cloud.

This really doesn’t make sense

But Trockette is the title. Hence

I will write a poem for you

And it will taste like stew.

Trockette is a term to describe

A Trock obsessed female who doesn’t hide

Her undying love for Chameleon Circuit:

A Trock group who know how to work it.

Doctor Who is so cool

And David Tennant made some girls drool.

The Doctor said “I don’t want to go”

But Matt Smith carries on the show.

Some people hate the new direction

Stephen Moffatt has now taken.

But stone angels are so ace

And wouldn’t want to put spitfires in space?

Sitting on the bus is a bore.

I wish I could spend just a little more

Time writing blogs for you guys,

Unless the 400 actually flies...

This idea I will not see,

As flying buses just will not be

A reality any time soon.

Instead I’ll just look at the moon.

My poetry skills are not that great,

Like my ability to not be late.

I’m rarely on time but I’ll not miss

A Doctor Who episode; don’t boo, don’t hiss.

Do not blink or look at their eyes,

Even when a main character cries

“I’ve been sent back to 1852”

As they might not be so kind to you.

So many plans and so little time,

Even another day could be fine

To write a blog and film a vid,

Or visit a friend (but no, not Sid.)

Some extra time would be great

But I just can’t communicate

With the TARDIS or the Doctor,

Even with help from a police helicopter.

 

I end this now with a quote

From a YouTube guy who thus spoke

A magical phrase a previous day:

“Don’t ever FTBA!”

Ha Ha... wait, what?

How many times have you started to laugh at something and then realised you don’t get it? Or that the thing you’re laughing at is actually at your expense? Yeah, me too. And then, quite often, people start laughing at your confusion and you never actually get to understand what happened.

The other thing is where you think of something funny but nobody who understands the reference is there. It’s like if I start going “driving, driving, passenger on” at school, everyone will think I’m crazy but anyone who went to Easter 2010 will know what I mean. Or I can slip in a reference to Paper Towns or An Abundance of Katherines in the presence of Terrie but most other people would be utterly clueless. “Look for dead superman under the tree” leaves the majority of you utterly confused but somewhere out there, James knows exactly what I’m on about.

Jokes and funny comments lose their meaning when they have to be explained but it’s equally frustrating when you don’t get why someone is in hysterical laughter at what they just said to you. “You had to be there” is sometimes just a cop out for a failed joke but other times you honestly just had to be there. Even recreating the “driving, driving” chant from Easter would not be quite the same as being there watching the original. You just wouldn’t be part of the original fun and excitement. It’s like if you get a strange hair cut for a joke: it’s funny at the time with your friends but when you get back to school everyone just thinks you’re odd. (Well, I will!)

Inside jokes are great if you understand them. If I’m talking about road trips or beer cans with anyone who’s read Paper Towns, the names Ben and Radar could certainly get a smile, if not a laugh while to anyone else they’re just names inserted illogically into a conversation.

So I leave you with a list of random comments. Feel free to pick which one you understand!

• Ben, beer cans and superglue
• Big cow under a tree!
• Marcus Brigstocke (in a hat!)
• Driving, driving, passenger on
• I have an eyelash in my papillary sphincter
• Soooo... sheep!
• France!
• Hannibal
• A Muslim, a Christian and an atheist...

And if you don't get any of these comment with your inside jokes 'cause my comments are now working! (There are some bonuses of changing the layout!)

A Small Dose of Reality

Matt wrote a blog about how we idolise relationships and this is my response:

There is nothing inherently wrong with relationships. Nothing inherently wrong with getting married or falling in love, I just want to make that clear. The problem comes when we idolise it. Where our one goal in life is to get a boyfriend/girlfriend, get married and maybe have kids. The problem is when we are so fixated on this “perfect” future that we forget that maybe this isn’t the plan for our future.

This view is not just a problem Christians have and, if anything, it is ‘stolen’ from the worldview of relationships. We are constantly being bombarded with ideas of love, perfect relationships and romance. A happily ever after ending rarely has a single man or woman triumphing at the end.

Books and films are some of the worst offenders. The majority of them have a relationship as a major plot line. Even an action-adventure story tends to have some sort of romantic thread and songs are no better. It’s so rare to find a song that isn’t about either love or break-up. These songs tend to go on about how much someone is in love, wants to be in love, or misses being in love. Name me more than two popular songs that don’t have even a thread of love in them and I will be amazed.

Magazines are just as bad. With quizzes to find out who your celebrity boyfriend would be or gossip about celebrity love ‘news’ you can’t escape. Even girls younger than seven have been affected by this ridiculous hype with three year olds crying about their love for Justin Bieber. We can’t escape this culture where having a boyfriend/girlfriend is considered the ‘norm’ while not getting kissed until you’re over twenty is deemed “weird”. (This is stupid, in my opinion.)

It worries me when I see thirteen and fourteen year olds with boyfriends or girlfriends. They’re unlikely to see it as a relationsh8ip should be seen and so often just end up bragging about their ‘relationship’ and how many kisses they’ve had and such. At that age you’re still going to change a lot. You haven’t finished growing, your personality is still developing, so how can you know that your ‘relationship’ is going to work? And what is the point of a relationship if it has no future?

This idea of love and romance is fed into us daily and it’s so hard to escape. We need to remember that there isn’t actually anything wrong with being single; we need to focus our attention away from the pursuit of a “better half”. Having a relationship doesn’t solve all your problems and often just creates new ones.

DFTBA, Terrie, I have not forgotten.

A Bizarre Anecdote

There are some things you just have to share...
Walking back from town earlier I saw a car parked on the path. Well, when I say parked it looked like it had almost crashed into the grassy bank running between the path and the small group of houses behind. However, the two old women in the car were just sitting there, chatting I assume, totally oblivious to the fact that their car was straddling the pavement with one end almost in the road and the other end almost up the bank.

They were also oblivious to the man heading towards them. This would not have been a problem except the man was also oblivious of them. Whatever he was looking at on his mobile was apparently very interesting and not even a little green car in his pathway was going to break the eye contact he was so perfectly maintaining with his phone.

I watched him get closer and closer to these two women in their little green car. I was thinking to myself “wouldn’t it be funny if he walked into their car” but I didn’t think anyone could really be that unobservant. Apparently I was wrong. This guy got closer and closer to the car. Each step he took I was convinced he would look up, convinced he would realise his impending collision. Eventually there was no time left for him to notice and he literally tripped over their car.

The way the old lady responded was both rather funny and quite worrying at the same time. She almost leapt out of the car in some sort of panic. Her car started to roll back and instead of getting straight back in to put on the handbrake she raced (well, racing for an old lady) to the back of her car and appeared to be trying to push it back. After a while she went back around into the car and put on the handbrake while this man just kept on walking.

Although this looked hilarious, the whole car rolling back thing was rather worrying. As someone who’s learning to drive, I don’t really understand how you can forget to put on the handbrake. If you’re stationary, you either have your feet on some peddles or the handbrake is on. Especially if you’re on a slope, how do you forget?!

As I walked closer the two ladies remained in their car. They made no attempt to move the car so it was no longer blocking the path or sticking out into the road and just sort of stayed there with the passenger door open. After a police car went past, slowed down slightly then ignored them, I thought I’d better go check whether they were ok. The only people taking any notice were a couple of kids who lived in the houses behind the bank so I went over to ask them if they were ok.

These ladies seemed oblivious to how dangerous what they’d done could have been. Apparently one was just getting dropped off by the other and I was told not to worry. Obviously, everything was OK (as far as I saw) and no-one got hurt or run over, but the two ladies didn’t seem worried enough about the fact that their car rolled. It rolled a good metre or so without someone behind the wheel and it could have easily gone into the road.

So I’ve now changed a bizarre little anecdote into a worried babble about aged drivers but it’s a valid point. However funny it is to watch people fail at driving, I’m being made to do a test for a reason: to make sure everyone isn’t doing that so that England is safe!

DFTBA, Terrie, I have not forgotten.

For the Love of Tennant!

As the mechanics class filed into the TARDIS they all gasped in amazement. The centre console loomed large in front of them and the boys longed to run around the vast space, pressing buttons and pulling levers. The Doctor strolled up to the consol, flicking the occasional switch and talking over his shoulder to the speechless mechanics group.
“Don’t forget to close the door! So, where do you want to go? There’s this planet called Twilight where it’s never quite night... or 5997! Harry Potter fandom’s still going strong and some guy set up a real Hogwarts on the Planet Horrux. Or...”

“Wait!” Hannah interrupted. “We have to pick Terrie up!”

The Doctor paused in thought as if he was reliving a pleasant memory before jumping into action. “Terrie’s it is!” He exclaimed, pulling a few more levers. “Hannah, can you hold this button down? And Rosanna, this one aaand Ellie, this one. Boys, erm, just stay over there... Right, Alons-y!”

The TARDIS screamed into life before silencing a few minutes later.

“Is that it?” One of the boys piped up.

“Sssh!” Hannah rebuked. “You’re spoiling it. Doctor, can I go get Terrie?”

“Why not?” The Doctor replied, grinning his trademark grin.

Hannah peered around the deep blue of the TARDIS door to find herself looking at her reflection in Terrie’s bedroom mirror. She almost forgot to breathe as she took in the sight of herself in the TARDIS. The Doctor noticed Hannah still standing, unmoving in the doorway, and walked over to the door putting his hand on her shoulder.

“I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to contact her telepathically for another few hundred years.” He whispered in her ear.

“Ok,” Hannah whispered back, taking a deep breath. “Urm, maybe you could come with me? I’m not sure she’ll believe me ‘cause I barely believe it myself.”

The Doctor slipped his hands into his pockets instructing Hannah to lead the way. Following the unique beats of Tom Milsom’s Song for the Painfully Indie, Hannah led the Doctor out of Terrie’s mess bedroom, down the stairs and through into the kitchen where Terrie, oblivious to the large blue box that had landed in her room, was dancing around and singing in her loud but slightly off key voice. She was obviously feeling a lot better than she had that morning and was now busy making herself lunch. Watching Terrie butter some bread before raiding the cupboards for something to put in them, Hannah made her way over to the other side of the room with The Doctor.

“For the love of G...”

“Language, Terrie,” said Hannah, interrupting Terrie’s loud exclamation at seeing both Hannah and The Doctor standing in her kitchen.

“For the love of Tennant, what are you doing here?!” Terrie corrected herself for Hannah’s benefit while still baffled at the presence of someone she thought was at school and someone who she thought was only fiction. “How... what... when... ... wait... ... How comes you’re real Doctor and why on earth have you come here, to see me, with Hannah?”

The Doctor’s eyes momentarily lost their gleam at the realisation that Terrie couldn’t remember their previous meeting but neither Hannah nor Terrie noticed. The Doctor quickly corrected himself and answered Terrie’s question.

“I’m real because I may have given my story to the BBC. I was getting too much attention and people were looking for me so I thought if I convinced the public that what I do is fiction I’d get a bit of peace and quite. Well, I’m not really that keen on fan girls and some of my fans just have a habit of getting in the way. And why have I come here? Because Hannah asked if we could pick you up. You managed to miss the mechanics lesson where the boys create a machine that attracted the TARDIS! I’m still not quite sure how they did it. Huon energy is so old and there’s not really anything special about mixing pulleys and string and a table... Perhaps the particles arranged themselves into a huedron kaleidoscopic arrangement aligning the alpha and beta hutrons and galvanising the cacoethes of bombilation before converting the heat and sound energy into huon energy. Except that usually requires a clithridiate hole in the main body...” The Doctor trailed off leaving both Hannah and Terrie totally confused and lost for words. Huon energy was certainly not covered in their GCSE physics syllabus and they were pretty sure it wasn’t in the A-level syllabus either.

“Urm...” Terrie said, breaking off The Doctor’s train of thought that he was still following in his head. “Not that huon energy isn’t interesting but does this mean I get to travel in the TARDIS? With you?”

“Quite possibly,” the Doctor grinned at Terrie, “You, Hannah and the rest of your mechanics class. I couldn’t very well leave them all behind and only take Hannah, Ellie and Rosanna. Although I’m beginning to think that bringing those boys wasn’t my best idea...” The Doctor ended as a loud thump resonated down the stairs followed quickly by Ellie telling the boys to stop mucking around.

Music was still blaring out of Terrie’s speakers and in the lull of the conversation the track moved on to another of Terrie’s many YouTube songs. “Hey, isn’t that a song about me?” The Doctor asked curiously as Chameleon Circuit started to play.

“Trock: Time Lord rock. Basically songs about the TV series Doctor Who so yes, I guess it is about you. Technically,” Terrie replied, smiling as the song reached the line ‘we’ve got galaxies and planets and moons, and an awful lot of running to do.’ “How about some galaxies, planets or moons then Doctor? I’m ready for an awful lot of running.” Terrie smiled up at the Doctor and glanced over at Hannah who was also grinning broadly.

“That’s why we came!” The Doctor smiled at Terrie. “Where do you want to go? The TARDIS is up in your room - I’m hoping I didn’t squash too much of your stuff - so she’s ready to leave when you are.”

“Alons-y,” Terrie whispered, smiling uncontrollably. She switched off her music and together the three of them made the short journey up the stairs to the TARDIS where the rest of the mechanics class were waiting patiently...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Hignfy

The other week I made my first trip up to London without adult supervision. When I say without adult supervision I mean without a teacher or my parents. To say if I’m an adult at 17 is a whole other debate. Although I can’t legally do everything an adult can, like vote, many places seem to think that my being over the age of 15 gives them the right to charge me adult prices. Occasionally I may be able to wave a student card and get slightly reduced prices but wait... I think I’m straying off the subject here...
The other Wednesday, I braved the train with my friends to find myself sitting in the audience at the recording of “Have I Got News for You.” It was a long afternoon and evening but totally worth it!

The journey up was awesome. Me, Terrie (who I am all too aware gets a mention almost every blog) and Rosanna (who was awesome enough to get the tickets and invite me along) had a wide range of discussions: From me and Terrie’s excited babble about John Green’s books to Rosanna’s amazing Rubik’s skills. (Which I hasten to add, I taught her! She’s just managed to take my instructions and get amazingly fast!) Once we arrived in London, we grabbed a McDonalds and wet to queue up, ready for HIGNFY.

I’m not totally sure how we whittled away the couple of hours we were in that queue as most of it seemed to be spent talking about nothing. Whether it was taking random photos or debating whether the guy in front looked like Gordon Ramsey, we certainly had fun. I think a large proportion of the time was spent trying to persuade Terrie to ask some strangers if she could have a photo with them. (As a punishment for not noticing a failing in my blog soon enough, Terrie is to be noticed herself by taking her photo with a “unique” member of the public. A photo with a complete stranger but she is yet to complete this...)

The most exciting part of the queuing was probably when we went to the loo. Not the toilet itself – however soft the Kleenex loo roll was – but who we saw when we came out. Casually standing at the reception nearby, we saw Marcus Brigstocke. (In a hat!) Terrie and I just sort of looked at each other, speechless, before walking back out to the others in the queue; a mixture of the burly body guard and being star-struck stopped us going over to say “hi” or whatever you say to people who you know by first name but who don’t even realise you exists. We then spent subsequent conversations discussing what we would have done if it had been a) David Tennant, b) Charlie McDonnell, c) Alex Day, d) any other YouTuber/celebrity we admire. (We came to the conclusion that Terrie would do a good impression of a stone angel while I would probably try to form some sort of coherent sentence with the focus somewhere along the lines of getting an autograph/photo.)

Finally, we got into the studio and got seated on the third row. After deciding that the music playing was almost definitely Now 60, we got to watch the warm up act. This guy was really good and I’m sure I’ve seen him before but I can’t remember where and I now can’t remember his name... always helpful.

Watching the filming was amazing. Robert Webb mucked up enough times to make it interesting but not so many it went on forever! The iminant elections gave a lot of news for them to discuss and mock and it was just generally ace.

Eventually, it had to end and we filed out of the studio. We tried waiting for the ‘stars’ to leave but we had a train to catch and none of them came out. So we headed home on the train, excited as ever and still nattering ten to the dozen!

Somewhere on the journey home, Rosanna pulled out a pack of Doctor Who playing cards and games of cheat and sevens commenced. Eventually I got off the train and drove home...

(Yes, I drove! Dad in the passenger seat as I haven’t actually passed yet... but still!)

Next to watch the actually episode...

DFTBA, Terrie, I have not forgotten.

'Happy'

Are you happy now? Yeah, I’m pretty happy.
Have you got it all figured out? No, that would take a while. But I’m trying to figure everything out.
I hope you’re living large. Currently I’m living kind of medium.
Take another fool and break his heart. But what if he breaks mine?

Are you better now? A little better I guess. I’d be even better if you fed me sweets…
Everything you dreamed about? Not yet! I’ve still got to get through university and become a vet!
Someone rich and you’ll fall in love But money’s not everything.
But it’s not him you’re thinking of... Of course not. As I said, money’s not everything.

Take these memories Thank you.
Throw them all away oh, Ok.
So I can’t recall
the pain of yesterday That’s a bit harsh. I know school can be a bore but still.

Take my broken core Apple core?
Far away from here Timbuktu!
But every place I go
I just want to disappear. Magic invisibility cloak!

Are you happy now? No, you’ve just depressed me.
Have you got it all figured out? Definitely not. Apparently there’s even more that I don’t know and still need to figure out. Like where Timbuktu is…
I hope you’re living large. Obesity isn’t that great.
Take another fool and break his heart. I think that’s a bit mean and I’m still not convinced I’d break his before he’d break mine.

Are you better now? No, worse than before. Remember, you depressed me.
Everything you dreamed about? Dreams take time to develop. I’m still waiting.
Someone rich and you’ll fall in love What, with the money?
But it’s not him you’re thinking of Exactly, money!

But it’s not him you’re thinking of Ur… you just said that…

When did you lose your smile? Hey, what? I’ve lost my smile? You got any idea where I may have misplaced it?
I tried to be strong Six pack strong?
Lifting the veil I was
the fool all along Define fool…

So much more complex Like a Rubik’s cube?
Carnal through and through That’s a bit harsh.
Kept your secrets buried deep “Elton, fetch a spade!”
But now I see right through you Yay! The cloak works!

I’m glad that I’ve escaped the wake of your destruction path Mauled by a digger would not be nice.
These scars, they’ll last forever but now I’m awake, so alive I’d be worried how you were singing if you weren’t alive. Although… ‘I love Brains’…

Are you happy now? A little happier. But only because I’m now ignoring your insults.
Have you got it all figured out? No, you’ve confused me even more.
I hope you’re living large I need to eat more cookies to fulfil this request.
Take another fool and break his heart Again, what if he breaks mine?

Are you better now? Vaguely. Well, not really. Although, my fault this time.
Everything you dreamed about? Nope. Dreams are easily crushed but then maybe the stuff that will happen that isn’t in my dream will be better than my actual dream.
Someone rich and you’ll fall in love Thinking of the money only isn’t the best way to go.
But it’s not him you’re thinking of Are you in my mind?

But it’s not him you’re thinking of… Déjà vu again...


DFTBA, Terrie, I have not forgotten!


NB:
This is the original song...

And Timbuktu is where that 'A' is:

"So... Physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Phyyyysics! Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics... I hope you're getting all this down!" [mark 2]

So my last blog under this title was a bit confuzzled and full of tiredness. I tried combining the Easter Camp blog I’d promised with Terrie’s challenge blog I owed her and my high tiredness levels sort of made it suck. However, Terrie was nice and has given me a pass on the premise that I rewrite this blog. So here I go...

If David Tennant was teaching me physics, there is no way that I would be getting everything written down. I have enough trouble taking good notes in lessons as it is. However, either David Tennant or the Doctor as my teacher would certainly bring my note taking levels to an all time low.

Exams are coming up and having the Doctor’s brains would certainly help. It’s impossible to remember everything I need to know and it feels like every time I fit a new bit of information into my head, a slightly older but equally important bit of old information falls out the back door. I’m not saying I’d use the TARDIS to cheat to find the answers, but a little bit more headspace would be great. A little extra room for all the A-levels and a little extra time to fit in work experience and this funny thing called life. Having a life is quite a foreign concept to many teachers but I’m guessing that wouldn’t be true if the Doctor was your teacher.

Imagine history lessons with the Doctor. It would take practical lessons to a whole new dimension. Learning about the Tudors wouldn’t mean watching historically inaccurate TV programs but it would be walking the floors of the court with Catherine of Aragon or playing croquet with Elizabeth I. (Although don’t get me started on the whole “no longer the... never mind” business.) Physics lessons would be going back to discuss theories of relativity with Isaac Newton and biology lessons would involve talking to Edward Jenner about his smallpox vaccination. Spanish, French and German lessons would all be totally redundant as the TARDIS could translate everything. Maths lessons would be visiting Einstein and English lessons would be visiting Shakespeare, Marlow, and Jane Austen.

Obviously, this is totally implausible and I’m going to have to struggle on through exams without the assistance of The Doctor. But girls can have dreams... eh, Terrie?

"So... Physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Phyyyysics! Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics... I hope you're getting all this down!"

Yesterday I arrived back from a week away and although I wasn’t taking physics notes from the awesome Doctor, I did spend a lot of time taking notes on talks and getting exhausted. I spent a week either in the middle of nowhere or the centre of nowhere having an awesome time.


After the epicness of seeing everyone I hadn’t seen in ages we went into the school we were staying at. It was an actual maze. We spent ages running around the place getting lost and discovering all the different corners in the place including a very randomly placed ladder which we discovered was actually a fire escape. (Thankfully it wasn’t needed and there was no reenactment of last year’s shower horror but that’s another story…) After this manic rush and room allocations we were led down to one of the many fields surround our little patch of ‘middle of nowhere’ to play the classic ‘get to know each other’ games. Running round trying to find people who have drunk Marmite and playing a strange version of ‘rock, paper, scissors’ where you go from an egg to a chick to a dinosaur to a king/queen is certainly a different way to get to know people!

Being a Christian camp, we spent a lot of time talking about God, learning about the Bible and praying. Don’t get the wrong end of the stick here: I enjoyed it. Being with other Christians my age was amazing and I wish it could be like that all the time. The only way I can describe it to non-Christians is to imagine your greatest passion in life and then imagine spending all your time being able to be with others who share that passion and talk about it whenever you want for however long you want. A week looking at the book of Daniel was a real eye-opener. This guy stood up for his God, my God, despite the risks and his friends refused to worship anything other than God even though it meant they could have died. They had such strong faith in God above all and it made me think, what do I worship in this world? Surely if I’m to call myself a Christian I should put God and telling others about him above looking ‘cool’ or not getting a fail from Terrie, above fitting in and above money, TV, internet and gadgets. I need to put everything in his hands and although some of you by this point might be thinking I’ve gone totally nuts, I tell you this. We’re all sinners. We’ve all done something wrong that damages the perfect standard that God requires from us. This means we deserve to be punished. We deserve to be punished for reject God, rejecting his laws and even rejecting he exists. However, God sent Jesus. Not just some preacher dude who did some ‘good stuff’ but God, as a man (yeah, hard to get your head around, I know) living a perfect life and dying. Not because of some tragic, uncontrollable accident but because he was taking our punishment for us. He did this for us so accepting this and putting him first is like saying thank you. We can never earn our way back to perfection, but we can show God that we believe in what he has done for us and that we accept his gift.

Although the Christian aspect of the camp was the main bit and the part I miss the most, I also had some pretty epic time doing ridiculous games and activities. Like climbing a ridiculously steep mountain (something that I rarely do voluntarily) and chasing leaders dressed up as old people around a quite village. Getting members of the public to pose for captions such as ‘Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.’ is certainly different although some old people are rude! One other camper got told to ‘get stuffed’… and they complain about youth of today!

I have sooo much more to talk about including quad biking, Timmy’s glow sticks, Matt’s auctioneering, our re-vamp of the 2012 Olympics campaign, Tim’s affiliation with throwing water and food at people, laser questing, great discussions, hiding in bushes… I could go on but I am totally tired from my week away so I’m hoping that Terrie will give me the benefit of the doubt and not fail me on the promise of more Easter camp news soon!

"So long and thanks for all the fish"

 

Just like the dolphins in Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy said goodbye to the earth with a fond farewell, we have officially come to the end of the Russell T Davis era of Doctor Who. David Tennant has left with Matt Smith taking his place, the companion has changed, the TARDIS has changed (inside and out), the logo, titles and music have changed and even the sonic screwdriver is different. However, the end of the earth also brought Arthur Dent a world of adventures from meeting a man with two heads and three arms (namely Zaphod Beeblebrox), experience a Babel fish (“The Babel Fish is small, yellow, and simultaneously translates from one spoken language to another.”) and transporting to a cricket match on a sofa. Similarly, the new Stephen Moffatt era of Doctor Who brings with it new adventures...

Tonight I watched “The Eleventh Hour”, the first in the new Doctor Who series. In short, it was amazing. Everything may have changed but it has all been changed just the right amount: enough to show that it’s a new era and to let Stephen Moffatt make his own mark, but little enough so that you can still tell that it is Doctor Who. The TARDIS looks amazing, inside and out and I think the new logo is really clever. I love the fact that everything seems to be harking back to the classic series with that eccentric olde-worlde feel without looking tacky at the same time. I know it will take a while to get used to but I’m ready for that. Sometimes it’s good to break from tradition and I think that after the success of Tennant, breaking from tradition was the only way to go.

Right, specifics so SPOILER ALERT!

Firstly, I want to say that the only thing that truly annoyed me was the fact that the sonic screwdriver glowed green. I have two issues with this. Firstly, half the definition of a sonic screwdriver is that it glows blue! The green just doesn’t work quite the same. Secondly, the sonic screwdriver from River Song in the library glowed blue, I’m pretty sure. Seen as that’s a future sonic screwdriver then it must turn back to blue at some point and if that’s the case, why did it change in the first place? Either way, it’s a bit petty to pick this out but that seriously is my only big moan. I’m suspecting there will be future moans but that is it for now!

Next, I want to talk about the monster. (Yes, I know, I’m not doing this in any sort of logical order.) I think how it worked was classic Stephen Moffatt: making mundane things like cracks in the wall scary and cleverly messing with the whole ‘wibbly wobbly timey whimey’ stuff. I didn’t think the monster, Prisoner Zero, was majorly scary but then the focus of this episode was much more introducing the new companion-to-be and letting The Doctor find out who he is. Either way, any monster than can blend in as a human is scary on one level or another.

Amelia Pond (or Amy Pond as her older self is called) is just right as a companion. Half my issue with Martha was the fact that she wasn’t so much a partner as a follower and I still don’t really understand why she wanted to leave her life. Fair enough one or two trips but it still just didn’t quite fit. In contrast, Amy is like a younger Donna: Confident and nothing to lose by going with the Doctor. (Except maybe a fiancé but that is yet to be clarified.) I just hope that the short clip of them kissing isn’t going to ruin this complex and turn her into another Rose. I really don’t get why the Doctor has to kiss all his companions!

I also loved the references to the extra rooms in the TARDIS. Russell T Davis rarely mentioned other rooms and only the massive wardrobe was ever shown but Stephen Moffatt mentioned two in the first five minutes. I love the idea that the TARDIS goes on forever, that there’s much more to it than just the console room, and Stephen Moffatt obviously agrees! The idea that the swimming pool emptied into the library is hilarious and the Doctor having to climb up through all the rooms is amazing. You rarely consider this as the TARDIS usually has an amazing ability to always land the right way up but this time the crash land flung it on its side. Unfortunately, knowing that the box used to film with doesn’t go on forever slightly spoils the effect but that’s my imagination being tainted, not Stephen Moffatt’s fault. I just hope that in this series we get to see much more of the TARDIS interior. The new interior is massive with so many parts and I so hope that it is used to its full potential.

I could go on but I didn’t take any notes while watching the episode so a full review will have to come another time but I am definitely looking forward to the rest of the series. Maybe more reviews will follow... you never know...

That £5 you find at the bottom of your pocket...

I was tidying up the files on my computer and came upon a word document called “asthma blog!” I had no idea what this was and don’t remember writing a blog with anything to do with asthma in it so I opened it up. I thought I would share this with you as this is what happens when you cross a bored teenager, some biology homework, msn and Matt. Enjoy!

asthma is a condition that causes severe diaroeah and excessive tears

Matt Baker says:

"Asthma is a type of magic dragon."


yeah, that too!

*HannaH* (If I don't talk to you now its coz "I'm trying to resonate concrete") says:

it is often made worse by the presence of a magic dragon, particularly if it is blue

Matt Baker says:

however, the NHS provides phoenixes to chase away the dragons free of charge to students and the over 50s

*HannaH* (If I don't talk to you now its coz "I'm trying to resonate concrete") says:

sometimes, pink dragons reduce the effects of asthma, however, you must be careful not to get them muddled with the light red dragons which cause high levels of irritation


phoenixes are often provided as treatment and come in a variety of forms


the polka dot phoenixes reduce the inflamation of the diaphragme, while stripy phoenixes improve Sight

Matt Baker says:

Good stuff

*HannaH* (If I don't talk to you now its coz "I'm trying to resonate concrete") says:

asthma, in its simplest form, is an allergic reaction. for most people, this is triggered by a blow to the head, however, some find that the same reaction is brought on by the prescence of david tennant

Matt Baker says:

hehe


eh oh

*HannaH* (If I don't talk to you now its coz "I'm trying to resonate concrete") says:

david tennant himself is known to have severe asthma and is constantly surrounded by phoenixes to ensure his very prescence does not bring on an asthma attack

Matt Baker says:

i want one now

*HannaH* (If I don't talk to you now its coz "I'm trying to resonate concrete") says:

it is believed that certain females produce a pheremone that counteracts the effects of david tennant and that is why, in his role as doctor, he has kissed all his companions

Matt Baker says:

heheeh

*HannaH* (If I don't talk to you now its coz "I'm trying to resonate concrete") says:

nevertheless, this privaledge is not available to all and most have to make do with bottled pheremones which have the unfortunate side effect of unatractiveness


however, only those with tennant induced asthma need these pheremones and all other forms of asthma can be treated with simple phoenixes and honey


i think ive run out of drivel now!

Matt Baker says:

Nah, you could write loads and loads about this!

*HannaH* (If I don't talk to you now its coz "I'm trying to resonate concrete") says:

lol, maybe ill put it on a blog let me just save what we wrote!

Matt Baker says:

hehehe

DFTBA, Terrie, I have not forgotten! (even if it seems you have... *cough cough*)